My mother always told me I was like water. Water can carve its way through stone. Water can wash away earth, put out fire, and even destroy iron. And when trapped, water makes a new path.

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Most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
Remember all those things you used to love as a child? I do. Somedays I feel like a child trapped in a grown-ups body, and that’s not necessarily a bad feeling. I miss those days when things were much simpler, and the only thing you had to worry about was not tracking your muddy shoes through the house or not getting your kite stuck in the tree.
I loved and still love these things from my childhood. I’d love to hear yours too.
Cartoons - Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny and the Roadrunner were my favorite. Remember the Dr. Seuss cartoons? On VHS? When I was younger the number of times I checked out those videos from the library was probably greater than a number I could even count to. When I “grew up” and had to get up early to work at the bank, somedays the only thing I looked forward to was getting out of bed bright and early on Saturday and turning it to cartoons (always The Emperor’s New Groove series). Later, I discovered Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I immediately fell in love. My boyfriend and I would just sit around with sodas and watch Foster’s for hours. Oh how I miss those days. Here’s a few of my favorites…

Looney Toons, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Emperor’s New Groove, Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiago?, Magic School Bus, School House Rock (!), Dexter’s Laboratory, Tom & Jerry, The Simpsons, Futurama, and of course Gumby.

Climbing Trees - We all had that favorite tree to climb. Mine was a huge “helicopter” tree in my backyard. You know, the one with the seeds that fell off and spun around like helicopters. Each time I would see if I could climb higher than before. That was always my go-to spot during hide and seek. No one could ever find me amongst the branches. Sometimes I would intentionally throw things into the tree so I could climb up and retrieve them. That tree is still there but unfortunately is no longer “climbable”. I returned one evening a couple years ago from working at the library. There was a big storm while I was at work, and when I pulled into my driveway I saw that my beloved tree had been struck by lightning and half of it was laying across the ground. I think I actually shed a tear. I still go and sit by that tree with a book and my dog everytime I return to Iowa. I don’t believe life gets any better than when under my tree with a good novel and my dog laying by my side.
Books - I think books are my one true love in life. If I had nothing else, I’d be happy with just my books. I am amazed by the way they can take you places you’d never imagine. I basically lived at our public library when I was little. I remember my babysitter would take me in and I would check out a stack of books almost as tall as I was then take them home and knock out all forty or so books in one afternoon, return the next day and repeat. I could never get enough. I never played house when I was young, I always played library. What an odd child I was. The day I got my job at the library I was so ecstatic. I had dreamed of working there as a child. What job could be better? Being perpetually surrounded by books, what I imagine heaven to be like. I loved that job, and still to this day my dream is to be a librarian. There is nothing better than recommending books to people and having them come back and tell you how much they enjoyed it and want more. There is no better compliment than when someone thanks me for getting them back into reading. I do not understand people who do not like to read. It is just unfathomable to me. What books did you read as a child? Here’s a few of my favorites off the top of my head.

Nearly all Dr. Seuss books, Harold and the Purple Crayon, The BFG, The Pokey Little Puppy, The Giving Tree, The Very Busy Spider, The Stupids, Officer Buckle and Gloria, Zoom Broom (!), Piggie Pie, Tuesday, and If I Were In Charge of the World.

Playing in Cardboard Boxes - I guess this is what kids do when they grow up without internet, cable, or video games. It’s been a while since I’ve played in a box, but I used to do it all the time. My sisters and I would gather up our crayons and markers and decorate the inside and outside. If you were really lucky and got a super big box (I’m talking refrigerator big) you could make it into so many things. Usually it ended up as a house or secret fort. We always had Dad cut a door in it for us. It was always a huge tragedy when my parents finally got sick of a big box laying around and made us drag it out to the curb to be taken away.
Wagons - More specifically “taking the front railing off our red radio flyer and pulling the handle all the way back, sitting in it, steering the wagon by the handle, and having my sister push me up and down the street.” This was the closest we got to a go-kart, which we always wanted but never got. My sister and I took turns pushing the wagon as fast as we could while the other got to imagine for a brief moment they were driving, hair whipping in the wind and all. I’m fairly sure this is how we stayed in shape for years.
Honorable Mentions:
Jumping off our swings, seeing who could get the farthest.Wheelbarrow rides from my dad.
Memories are a powerful tool. Share them.

Most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

Remember all those things you used to love as a child? I do. Somedays I feel like a child trapped in a grown-ups body, and that’s not necessarily a bad feeling. I miss those days when things were much simpler, and the only thing you had to worry about was not tracking your muddy shoes through the house or not getting your kite stuck in the tree.

I loved and still love these things from my childhood. I’d love to hear yours too.

Cartoons - Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny and the Roadrunner were my favorite. Remember the Dr. Seuss cartoons? On VHS? When I was younger the number of times I checked out those videos from the library was probably greater than a number I could even count to. When I “grew up” and had to get up early to work at the bank, somedays the only thing I looked forward to was getting out of bed bright and early on Saturday and turning it to cartoons (always The Emperor’s New Groove series). Later, I discovered Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I immediately fell in love. My boyfriend and I would just sit around with sodas and watch Foster’s for hours. Oh how I miss those days. Here’s a few of my favorites…

Looney Toons, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Emperor’s New Groove, Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiago?, Magic School Bus, School House Rock (!), Dexter’s Laboratory, Tom & Jerry, The Simpsons, Futurama, and of course Gumby.

Climbing Trees - We all had that favorite tree to climb. Mine was a huge “helicopter” tree in my backyard. You know, the one with the seeds that fell off and spun around like helicopters. Each time I would see if I could climb higher than before. That was always my go-to spot during hide and seek. No one could ever find me amongst the branches. Sometimes I would intentionally throw things into the tree so I could climb up and retrieve them. That tree is still there but unfortunately is no longer “climbable”. I returned one evening a couple years ago from working at the library. There was a big storm while I was at work, and when I pulled into my driveway I saw that my beloved tree had been struck by lightning and half of it was laying across the ground. I think I actually shed a tear. I still go and sit by that tree with a book and my dog everytime I return to Iowa. I don’t believe life gets any better than when under my tree with a good novel and my dog laying by my side.

Books - I think books are my one true love in life. If I had nothing else, I’d be happy with just my books. I am amazed by the way they can take you places you’d never imagine. I basically lived at our public library when I was little. I remember my babysitter would take me in and I would check out a stack of books almost as tall as I was then take them home and knock out all forty or so books in one afternoon, return the next day and repeat. I could never get enough. I never played house when I was young, I always played library. What an odd child I was. The day I got my job at the library I was so ecstatic. I had dreamed of working there as a child. What job could be better? Being perpetually surrounded by books, what I imagine heaven to be like. I loved that job, and still to this day my dream is to be a librarian. There is nothing better than recommending books to people and having them come back and tell you how much they enjoyed it and want more. There is no better compliment than when someone thanks me for getting them back into reading. I do not understand people who do not like to read. It is just unfathomable to me. What books did you read as a child? Here’s a few of my favorites off the top of my head.

Nearly all Dr. Seuss books, Harold and the Purple Crayon, The BFG, The Pokey Little Puppy, The Giving Tree, The Very Busy Spider, The Stupids, Officer Buckle and Gloria, Zoom Broom (!), Piggie Pie, Tuesday, and If I Were In Charge of the World.

Playing in Cardboard Boxes - I guess this is what kids do when they grow up without internet, cable, or video games. It’s been a while since I’ve played in a box, but I used to do it all the time. My sisters and I would gather up our crayons and markers and decorate the inside and outside. If you were really lucky and got a super big box (I’m talking refrigerator big) you could make it into so many things. Usually it ended up as a house or secret fort. We always had Dad cut a door in it for us. It was always a huge tragedy when my parents finally got sick of a big box laying around and made us drag it out to the curb to be taken away.

Wagons - More specifically “taking the front railing off our red radio flyer and pulling the handle all the way back, sitting in it, steering the wagon by the handle, and having my sister push me up and down the street.” This was the closest we got to a go-kart, which we always wanted but never got. My sister and I took turns pushing the wagon as fast as we could while the other got to imagine for a brief moment they were driving, hair whipping in the wind and all. I’m fairly sure this is how we stayed in shape for years.

Honorable Mentions:

Jumping off our swings, seeing who could get the farthest.
Wheelbarrow rides from my dad.

Memories are a powerful tool. Share them.

5 notes

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

6 Plays

Hot Like Sauce - Pretty Lights [My New Obsession, Listen and You Won’t Be Let Down.]

2 notes

I just returned from my amazing Denver/Boulder vacation. I haven’t felt so refreshed and rejuvenated in so long. I’m finally back to normal. This trip was exactly what I needed.

3 notes

Half Empty or Half Full?

Half Empty or Half Full?

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this thing im in,
it’s not healthy
all i do is give, all you do is take
im reaching out, will you even attempt to meet me halfway

i just want to feel like someone cares again
that im beautiful
that im worth talking to
that im lovedĀ 
that i make you happy


i want to stop walking on these eggshells
and instead run and dance freely like i used to
i want to truly smile again

this thing im in,
its taking a toll on my heart and soul

3 notes

An Excerpt From Waking Life

I keep thinking about something you said.

Something I said?

Yeah. About how you often feel like you’re observing your life from the perspective of an old woman about to die. You remember that?

Yeah. I still feel that way sometimes. Like I’m looking back on my life. Like my waking life is her memories.

Exactly. I heard that Tim Leary said as he was dying that he was looking forward to the moment when his body was dead but his brain was still alive. You know they say that there’s still six to twelve minutes of brain activity after everything else is shutdown. And a second of dream consciousness, right, well, that’s infinitely longer than a waking second. You know what I’m saying?

Oh, yeah, definitely. For example, I wake up and it is 10:12, and then I go back to sleep and I have those long, intricate, beautiful dreams that seem to last for hours, and then I wake up and it’s … 10:13.

Yeah, exactly. So then six to twelve minutes of brain activity, I mean, that could be your whole life. I mean, you are that woman looking back over everything.

Okay, so what if I am? Then what would you be in all that?

Whatever I am right now. I mean, yeah, maybe I only exist in your mind. I’m still just as real as anything else.

4 notes

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

5 Plays

So True. [Beyonce - Me, Myself, and I]

Me, Myself, and I
That’s all I got in the end
That’s what I found out…

3 notes

I did a small model job for my good fashion designer friend Krista. All of her clothes were absolutely beautiful. Best of all, they fit me like a glove, almost as if she tailored them to my exact body measurements. I would make a killer dressform.

I did a small model job for my good fashion designer friend Krista. All of her clothes were absolutely beautiful. Best of all, they fit me like a glove, almost as if she tailored them to my exact body measurements. I would make a killer dressform.

3 notes

(A passage from my journal dated Sunday June 7th, 2009)
“Upon reflection, maybe I didn’t need to have the conversation about how soft my arm hair is with the tranny at work today.

3 notes